Loneliness affects us all while working as a carer

Loneliness is one of the biggest issues that affects live-in carers. We can go days or even weeks without any contact with the outside world.

When a client lives in a rural area and the family has so kindly set-up on-line shopping to save you travelling miles to the nearest supermarket. It can even be lonely when you are only a 5-minute walk away from the shops. Nobody knows you, and you are new to the area. People don’t interact like they used to in the good old days.

 I’ve walked into town on many occasions to break the monotony. I’ve passed hundreds of people on the way, walked around shops, had a coffee [and cake], and the only words directed at me have been ‘yes please’ ‘is that all for you?’ and ‘thank you’. I arrived back feeling good after the exercise but desperate to have a decent and meaningful conversation with someone.

We can read our books and do our arts and crafts but that doesn’t make up for having a decent conversation and good laugh with someone.

Thank goodness I was eventually introduced to the ‘Carers from any country working in UK for support and companionship’ site on facebook, it was a lifesaver. I think I had verbal diarrhea at first. Only carers can join this group and you need to be introduced by another carer.

It is a brilliant platform for meeting other carers working close to you and maybe arranging a coffee meet-up. You can share stories including asking for help regarding your client, your visa, which airline to use for your next trip home, you name it and someone will come to your rescue with an answer. We’ve also had such a giggle on some of the posts, the tears have been pouring down my face from laughing – what a good feeling that is.

I have made so many good friends through this site, we may only see each other once a year which is perfect when it happens. There are some I haven’t even met yet. That just adds to the excitement that one day it will happen.

I have become a member of the National Trust as there are so many beautiful places to visit all over the country. Just taking in the beauty of the grounds, a long walk through the woods, or looking through the famous houses all help to ease that loneliness.

Most of the homes we work in have internet connection now. If not then get your own dongle. I’ve been carrying mine around with me for years now. Some of the elderly have no idea how to use a computer so they see no reason to have internet available. This is where we need to help ourselves.

There is so much we can do, watch movies, and cookery competitions. Some are lucky and can plug in their earphones and watch whatever programmes they want to while their client watches ‘Poirot’ and ‘Miss Marple’. Quite a lot of us play the game Word 2 which is like scrabble, I just wish the odd couple of people would let me win a game once in a while [haha]. It’s great fun and helps to keep our brain functioning.

What do you do to ease the loneliness?