Flu, Flights, and Frustration … A Carer’s Journey to SA

Guest Speaker: Lynne Lotter

Little did I know when I kissed my Mum goodbye, January 31st 2020 in Benoni, giving her a big hug and saying, “Don’t be sad, I will see you in April, Plett is waiting, loads to look forward to, Mum. Love you tons!”

 It would be the last time I saw her, kissed, or hugged my Mum, smelt her Wrappings Perfume, and felt her soft skin on my cheek.

This is a lockdown story, it’s the story of a carer trying to get back to South Africa, it’s a story many of you will recognise, it’s my story, it’s your story.

Off we all went to the airport, ready to catch our flight back to the UK. Full of wonderful joyful memories, a family holiday in SA. We had all come together and had two weeks of absolute South African fun and love.

Slight rumblings began while we were in Plettenburg Bay. My son James heard from his friends and colleagues in Shanghai, China that a flu was spreading called Corona virus, it started in the wet Market in the province of Wuhan. He was already being given instructions that he would be teaching online and his school would be closed. Don’t go back, we advised him, stay in SA.

He refused, saying he was going back to China to face whatever was happening with his friends and colleagues, supporting each other and continuing his job as a teacher in a Private school. Brave young man.

I was returning to London, Chelsea, to my lovely client D and my sister, her partner Becca and Becca’s Dad were driving down to East Sussex all back to respective jobs and homes.

As a carer I was eager to get back to work, finances were running low and my client had been very ill. I was worried as I walked down Kings Road. He was being looked after by another lovely carer but I had been warned that palliative care was imminent.

The next couple of months went by. D made a miraculous recovery and started eating and drinking again, but although that was good news, it wasn’t with the rest of the world. This virus was spreading fast, it didn’t recognise borders, race, colour, gender, rich or poor. Italy, Spain, France…we all watched the news with bated breath.

In the meantime, I was so worried about James I could hardly breathe some mornings. He stayed in contact regularly and let me know how things were in China, isolation and loneliness being the hardest. Temperature testing, consistent masks, sanitising and self-isolation.

Streets in Shanghai were empty of people and most businesses were closed. Mental health was strained and James worked on his own, watched many Netflix series and cleaned his tiny flat many times.

Then almost simultaneously lockdown happened in the UK, and South Africa. My daughter-in-law gave birth to a beautiful little boy called Sam in the Sandton Clinic. He would be called a lockdown baby. All the more reason for me to be travelling back to SA as soon as possible, I had a new grandson who had joined  2 year-old Max. Unfortunately, it was not to be.

I am one of those eternal optimists, believing that all this would go away soon. James had said not to read social media regularly and to beware of Fake news, it was dangerous and created fear, but that was already spreading very quickly.

As carers we turned to our face book sites and many of us realised that we were in situations where we had to forfeit being with our families and the people we loved, to remain with our clients and protect them against this unknown pandemic. Covid 19, a virus that was going to turn our lives upside down, inside out and test our resilience, strength of character, humour and mental health.

It was like being in a dystopian film, or nightmare but this time there was no waking up.

Then borders closed, flights stopped and repatriation flights back to South Africa were all we could get, very expensive and hard to book.

I spoke to my Mum nearly every day, making light of the situation and telling her that I would be with her soon and that she was safe in her flat in the retirement village. She was always positive as well, ” I know love, I know you will come as soon as this stupid virus has gone.” I worried about her constantly and felt guilty.  

We all used marvellous technology to stay in touch and in the beginning it was fun, a novelty. The weather was gorgeous in the UK, it was as if Mother Nature was saying thank you for letting her breathe. No aeroplanes roared in the skies, the streets were quiet and eerily empty. We were allowed out for exercise, I walked. 

All this carried on for a few months, I booked my ticket for September and told my family I was coming over and my Mum was really excited. Her short-term memory was not good, and seemed to be deteriorating, sometimes she would phone me 4 times a day. “Have I just phoned you?” “Yes mum but its lovely to hear your voice”. Her domestic/carer, the lovely Thembi, was not allowed to travel to work and be with my mum, things were worsening in SA. We didn’t know how to get food to her. My ex-husband helped and did a grocery shop for her. My son did the same, but they were not allowed to go into the complex and see her. It was becoming a nightmare.

Then we were told lockdown was ending. We could start meeting up again, go shopping more easily and just be sensible wearing masks and sanitising hands. It was such a lovely feeling seeing shops and pubs open. But South Africa was not looking good and my BA flight was cancelled, I decided to rebook for January 28th to SA and return end of Marc

This time I didn’t tell my mum, I didn’t want her to know it was still a long wait, plus I thought I would try and surprise her in November for a quick week or so once the virus was over. And as Summer approached in the Southern Hemisphere things started relaxing, Thembi went back to my mum. My son took her out for a couple of day trips which she loved, especially when her great grandson was there. We still spoke to her nearly every day, and she was sounding much better. 

And then my dear client passed away.

End of Part 1